


Lawfully Wedded Waifu

by spasticbirdie



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alcohol, Alphyne, Anime Is Real, Bachelorette Party, Cosplay, F/F, Houseplant Flowey, MLG Frisk, Nonverbal Frisk, Paintball, Post-Pacifist Route, Strip Tease, Wedding Night, Wedding Planning, Weddings, floweypot au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-02
Updated: 2017-10-17
Packaged: 2018-05-24 09:00:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 18,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6148384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spasticbirdie/pseuds/spasticbirdie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alphys and Undyne get married, which is basically the extreme hardcore version of being girlfriends.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. your waifu is (not) shit

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the incredibly annoying trend where Alphyne is used as a background ship in like 90% of the Undertale fics on here.

“Now… give us a twirl, darling.”

Alphys took a deep breath, spun in a circle like Mettaton instructed, looked at herself in the mirror, and nearly burst into tears. “It’s – I don’t – I look AWFUL!”

Rolling over to her as fast as his one wheel could spin, Mettaton tried his best to calm her down. “Darling, darling! You look ravishing! That dress goes PERFECTLY with your scales! It brings out your eyes! Undyne will take one look at you and she will DROP!”

Alphys sniveled, wiping her nose with her wrist. She had almost seemed to recover when she looked back at the mirror and her eyes began to well up again.

“Now darling, don’t look so sad. Not to toot my own horn, but-” Mettaton stopped, then reconsidered. “Actually, I’ll toot my own horn as much as I want!” A panel popped open on Mettaton’s side, a tiny clown horn popped out, honked twice, and retracted. “That dress is the finest piece of clothing that I have ever made- nay, the finest wedding dress to ever BE made! In fact, I shouldn’t even let you wear it, because if Undyne sees you in it I do NOT want to be held accountable for her death by your glamour!”

Alphys gave a small laugh. “T-thanks, Mettaton, but…”

“Ah-ah-ah! No buts, lady! You are getting married within the week, and this is the dress you will be married in!”

“But-”

“Just think of it! The first monster wedding on the surface! Guests from both the monster and human world!”

“But-”

“The Royal Scientist of the Underground, marrying the Captain of the Royal Guard! The wedding event of the yea- nay, the decade- nay, the CENT-“

“METTATON!”

Mettaton stopped abruptly. Alphys was staring at the floor, claws gripping her dress. The dress was made of a slightly thicker material than one would expect; Alphys’ claws and the friction from her scales often caused tears in lighter clothing, so the dress had to be made of something slightly more heavy-duty. The dress was white, with a line of frills spiraling up from her waist to her chest, where it ended in a light blue flower. At her waist was a ribbon, tied off with a bow that matched the flower in color. Her tail poked out through the rear; Mettaton had painstakingly designed it so her tail wouldn’t be trapped under the dress, something that had plagued her in a number of factory-made dresses she had worn before. He had also done… _something_ to the bottom of the dress; Alphys wasn’t quite sure what, but no matter what the lighting, it shimmered like stardust when she moved.

And she looked…

“Mettaton, I-I’m sorry, it’s not the dress. It’s… it’s me. It wouldn’t matter what dress you put me in, I wouldn’t look good enough, I d-don’t deserve to… Mfff!” Her words were abruptly cut off as Mettaton grabbed her head and turned her to face him.

“Alphys.”

“Yesh?” Alphys replied, her cheeks and mouth smushed between Mettaton’s gloved hands.

“Who are you?”

“What?”

“Don’t you ‘what?’ me! Who. Are. You?!?”

Alphys had never heard Mettaton speak this seriously. She could almost imagine the pose he would be making if he wasn’t in his normal form. “I-I’m, uh, Alphys?”

“That’s RIGHT!” Mettaton exclaimed. “You! Are! Alphys! The Royal Scientist of the monster race! The one without whom Frisk, savior of the monsters, would never have succeeded! AND, you’re the woman who PROPOSED TO UNDYNE!”

Alphys blinked. Mettaton released her and spun around, pacing (wheeling?) around the dressing room. “You’re beautiful! You’re a genius! You’re passionate, and do you want to know what you are MOST of all?”

Alphys swallowed. “W-what?”

Mettaton stopped pacing (rolling?) and faced Alphys. “You are the _only_ person who is right for Undyne, and Undyne is the _only_ person who is right for you.”

Alphys stood there a moment. Then she turned to the mirror again.

“What do you think now?” Mettaton asked.

Alphys didn’t respond. She turned to one side, to the other, then gave a little twirl. She looked at herself in the mirror once more, and tears began to flow again.

Mettaton was about to rush over again when he saw her smiling through her tears. “It looks…great. _I_ look great.” She stared into the mirror for a few more moments, then rushed over to Mettaton and hugged his wide, boxy frame. “Thanks.”

Mettaton returned the hug as gently as he could. “Anything for you, darling.” 

 

* * *

 

 “NGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!”

Mettaton sighed, and silently retrieved the torn remains of the dress. “Now, now, Undyne. Any more of your dramatics, and I’m going to run out of fabric.”

“This dress SUCKS! How am I supposed to do ANYTHING in it, it’s all FLOWY and it gets in the way and I can’t RUN or JUMP or ANYTHING!” Undyne angrily pulled her t-shirt down over her head, tugged her jeans up, grabbed her leather jacket and began to storm out of the room. “Forget it! I’m just going to go in my armor!”

“No, no, no!” Mettaton rolled in front of her and blocked the door with his boxy frame. “What would Alphys think if you showed up to your wedding in THAT?”

Undyne snorted, trying to squeeze past Mettaton’s bulky body to no avail. “Uh, she’d probably think I’m AWESOME? Which I AM?”

Mettaton sighed in frustration. “I cannot believe how poorly you know your OWN FIANCEE! Do you have ANY idea how nervous Alphys has been all this time?”

Undyne stopped struggling.

Mettaton continued doggedly. “God forbid, if you actually went to your own wedding in a full suit of platemail, Alphys would be scared stiff! She’d be too nervous to walk down the aisle, let alone say her vows!”

Undyne actively avoided meeting Mettaton’s accusing stare, or at least avoided looking at his monitor. She gave up trying to force her way out and walked back to the center of the room, where the remains of her dress lay.  She picked them up, stared at them a moment…

“NGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” Undyne tore what was left of the dress into a million more pieces, even materializing an energy spear to better shred it.

Mettaton waited. He decided it was best to just let her do it; Alphys had needed the pep talk, but for Undyne he realized he just needed to let her get it out of her system.

When she was done, standing over a pile of fabric scraps, she spun and pointed a finger at Mettaton. “On ONE condition: no more dresses.”

Mettaton sighed. If he had had eyes, he would be rolling them. “Fine.” He rolled over to the dressing room and held the curtain aside. “Lucky for all of us, I’ve been working on a backup. Have at it.” Before Undyne could enter the dressing room, his arm shot across the threshold and held her back. “I’ve got ONE condition of my own, though; PLEASE don’t destroy it if you dislike it.”

Undyne grumbled.

“If you don’t say, ‘Mettaton, I promise not to destroy the product of weeks’ worth of designing and slaving over a sewing machine if I don’t like it,’ you’re not getting into this dressing room.”

“Ugh, FINE.”

“’Fine’, what?”

Undyne groaned again and rolled her eyes. “Mettaton, I promise not to destroy the product of weeks’ worth of designing and slaving over a sewing machine if I don’t like it.”

“That’s better.” Mettaton’s arm retracted and Undyne pushed past him into the dressing room.

As she pulled the curtain closed, she quickly spat out, “Psycheandihadmyfingerscrossedyoustupidrefridgeratoronaunicycle,” and shut the curtain with as much vigor as possible.

Mettaton threw up his hands and rolled over to a wall outlet. Dealing with Alphys was one thing, but at least Alphys didn’t destroy dresses she didn’t like (or maybe she couldn’t; Mettaton doubted Alphys could tear up a piece of paper). Plugging into the outlet, Mettaton sighed and rubbed his temples. Or at least, he would have if he had temples at the moment, so he rubbed the top corners of his chassis. If Undyne didn’t like this one, he honestly had no idea what he’d do.

“METTATON!”

 Mettaton jumped, nearly ripping his plug out of the socket. He waited for the sound of tearing fabric with horror.

It never came. Undyne came out of the dressing room, wearing a silky, smart-looking three-piece suit. The jacket and pants were pure white, but the bowtie and waistcoat were a beautiful golden-yellow color that was somehow both shimmery and subdued. There was even a matching white eyepatch for Undyne. The whole ensemble was made of a material that Alphys had designed a while ago; Undyne’s slick, usually damp skin tended to soak into lighter fabrics, so Alphys had come up with a material that was almost indistinguishable from normal cloth, but highly resistant to water.

Mettaton only saw the ensemble for a second, however, before Undyne crashed into him and picked his bulky, square frame up in a massive bear hug.

“NGAAAAAAH YOU IDIOT! Why didn’t you show me this BEFORE the dresses, this is INCREDIBLE!” Undyne released Mettaton and spun in place, looking at herself from every angle in the mirror. “It fits PERFECTLY and there’s so many POCKETS! I can FIGHT in this thing!” As if to demonstrate her point, she materialized a spear and gave it a few swings, taking a chunk out of a nearby chair.

“W-Well! I’m glad you like it!” Mettaton gave an inward sigh of relief. To tell the truth, he had been working on the suit for a while, but had wanted to experiment with the dresses first. He hadn’t even thought about what he’d do if Undyne didn’t like the suit, and he counted his lucky stars that he wouldn’t have to.

Undyne gave some more swings with her spear and continued admiring herself in the mirror. Mettaton gave her a few minutes to revel in it, then clapped his hands. “Alright, that’s enough, dear. There’ll be plenty of time to wear it later, and I’d appreciate it very much if you didn’t rip it before your dearly beloved walks down the aisle.”

Undyne gave one last jab with her spear, then nodded. “Alright.” She returned to the dressing room, and a few minutes later was back in her usual leather jacket and jeans.

“I’ll just collect your suit and keep it ready for the big day. You go on and spend some time with your bride-to-be!” Mettaton rolled for the dressing room, but was stopped by Undyne throwing her arm out. She seemed a little troubled. Mettaton waited a moment, then broke the silence. “Something wrong, d-”

He was cut off as Undyne grabbed him another hug, thankfully much gentler this time. “Thanks. I know you must have worked hard on those dresses, and I really feel bad for ripping them up and stuff but I was just so nervous about…”

Mettaton patted Undyne on the back. “There, there. Don’t you worry, a few pre-wedding jitters are normal. Believe me, Alphys has been just as nervous as you…”

Mettaton trailed off when he saw Undyne’s expression. She had gone statue-still and almost as red as her hair. A strangled whisper came out of her mouth.

“Um… what was that, dear?”

She whispered again, completely unintelligible.

“You, uh, need to speak up a bit.”

Undyne raised her head to look at Mettaton, and expression of absolute terror on her face. “Mettaton. Metta. I’m getting _married_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: Anime conventions and paintball


	2. My Neighbor Toriel and Saving Pvt. Papyrus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alphys is a frikkin weeb, Frisk is MLG as hell, and Undyne leaves no man (or skeleton) behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off, thanks to everyone who commented, left kudos, or just read the first chapter! This one ended up being a LOT longer than the first (and was actually going to be even longer before I pushed the second planned half to chapter 3).  
> Big thanks to [ dicaeopolis](http://archiveofourown.org/users/dicaeopolis/pseuds/dicaeopolis) and[ tropiccitrus ](http://archiveofourown.org/users/tropiccitrus/) for betaing this and the previous chapter!  
> (Also, I changed the title of the first chapter because the old one was just one I pulled out of my ass and I wasn't really satisfied with it, and I edited a few things in chapter 1 that were bugging me. I'm new at AO3, sorry.)

“I can’t _believe_ you talked me into this.”

“Well, y-you said I could do whatever I wanted for my b-bachelorette party, and this is it.” Alphys straightened her hairband, which had pink cat ears and was decked out in hearts. “Now, the Mew Mew panel is in half an hour, so we’ve got some time to kill. Have you seen Toriel and Frisk?”

Despite Mettaton’s repeated pleas to do something different for her bachelorette party, Alphys had been insistent; Otakonvention falling on the week right before the wedding was too good an opportunity to pass up. Plus, the original voice actors for Mew Mew Kissy Cutie were doing a panel!

Mettaton had taken a lot of convincing, and then even more when Alphys wanted the two of them to do matching cosplays. As such, Alphys was dressed in her Mew Mew cosplay, a frilly pink outfit that was half-sailor uniform, half-dress, with a matching pair of white and pink knee high boots. Mettaton had been forced into what was basically a giant dog costume, albeit with various mecha details and a laser cannon mounted on either side of his square frame. Since Mettaton was obviously nowhere near dog- or humanoid-shaped, they had to improvise; a dome with dog ears, eyes and snout topped Mettaton’s chassis.

“Alphys, you know I love you, but I feel ridiculous.”

Alphys pouted a little. “But you look JUST like the Bow Wow Buster Robot!”

“That’s probably why,” Mettaton replied icily. “How much longer are we going to be here, anyway?”

Alphys was a little miffed by Mettaton’s lack of enthusiasm. “W-Well, it’s MY party, so I’m going to stay as long as I want!” She looked through the guidebook. “But to answer your question… we can leave after the photoshoot, if you want. I’ve probably bought too much stuff already.”

Mettaton glanced down at the bags of anime merch piled at her feet. “No, I think you could probably stand to shop some more. I’m sure there’s at least one figurine you haven’t snatched up yet.” Looking at the guidebook over Alphys’ shoulder, Mettaton pointed to an event near the bottom of the schedule. “What’s that?”

Alphys flipped to the events section. “U-uhhh. That one’s in the, uh, adult events…”

Mettaton’s interest was piqued. “Well, what is it?”

“Um.” Alphys cleared her throat. “Cosplay Cabaret (21+): Come see your favorite characters sing, dance, and for the brave few, bare it all! (Or at least, bare most of it all.) Featuring performances by the Gundam Girls and Mecha Men, The Host Club, and – Mettaton, you’re not s-seriously thinking of-”

“The thought hadn’t even crossed my mind, dear. Say, is that Toriel and Frisk?” Mettaton asked, peering across the crowded convention floor.

“No, that’s – uh. I think Frisk said they were called furries. Toriel said they were dressing as Totoro and Satsuki.”

“Alphys, if you really think I know what either of those names mean…”

With a grunt of effort, Alphys lifted her bags of merch. “Just follow me. Maybe they’re still in the dealer’s room.” The two set off across the crowded lobby.

Thankfully, they weren’t the only monsters at the con; the attendees were mostly human, but it was still possible to pick out the odd monster or two from the crowd. A few were even running events; the Snowdrakes were holding a standup comedy workshop, and Gerson had a booth selling “priceless monster artifacts.”

It helped that they didn’t look all that out of place. Being surrounded by gaudily-dressed anime characters made the monsters look downright normal. It was a nice change; even after more than a year aboveground, Alphys still felt inquiring stares on her back when she and Undyne went out in public. Not being constantly on edge felt… strange, but nice.

The dealer’s room was busy at this time of day; Alphys, who was already at least a head shorter than most of the congoers, could barely see the first row of booths through the crowd. Mettaton took the lead, his squareness a useful way to cut through the throng. Alphys stayed as close as she could without literally hanging onto him; besides being shorter than most of the crowd, she didn’t like being alone in public in the first place. Usually, the only times she went out were with Undyne, who was intimidating enough that people stayed well clear of them both.

Mettaton was… big enough, and the con had been safe enough so far, but – _oh my god is that an original production run 1/60 scale Mew Mew Mecha figure?_

Alphys squinted up at the box, high on the back wall of one of the vendor booths. There was no doubt about it; that was one of only 500 collectible figures produced of the Mew Mew Mecha featured in episodes 7, 20, 33 and 50 of Mew Mew Kissy Cutie oh my god oh my god.

Alphys gave herself a mental smack. Get a hold of yourself, she thought. You’ve already bought plenty of stuff (as her aching arms reminded her), and it’s definitely going to be overpriced

But oh my god how many of those were even LEFT in the ENTIRE WORLD? Coming up from the underground had revealed a world of anime merch far beyond Alphys’ wildest dreams and THIS would DEFINITELY be the pinnacle of her current collection

This time, Alphys gave herself a physical smack, which was easier said than done while carrying all her bags. No, no, no. Just stay away from the siren call of figurines. Tell Mettaton to talk you out of it.

“Mettaton-” Alphys began, but when she turned around he was nowhere to be seen. While Alphys had been wrestling with her unquenchable thirst for anime, Mettaton had obliviously rolled off without her.

Alphys suddenly felt very alone, very vulnerable, and very afraid. The crowd that was already taller than her seemed to double in height, and she felt unfriendly stares hitting her from all angles.

Don’t panic, she thought. Don’t panic, don’t panic, don’t panic, just find Mettaton and the others, don’t panic don’t panic don’t panic, it’s highly improbably that anyone would do anything surrounded by this many people don’t panic don’t panic just drop the bags and run run get out get out of here go find Mettaton go find Toriel and Frisk go find Undyne don’t black out-

“Ummmm… excuse me?”

Alphys almost didn’t hear the small voice behind her. She turned slowly, still on the verge of breaking down into a nervous, shaking mess.

The owner of the voice was a girl about Alphys’ height. She was dressed in the same outfit as Alphys; white and pink seifuku, cat-eared hairband, and white boots. Held nervously in both hands was a digital camera.

The girl held up the camera. “Can – uh, can I get a picture? With you?”

Alphys blinked. “Um. Uh.”

The girl looked embarrassed. “Sorry, sorry, I didn’t mean to-” She began awkwardly backing away.

“W-wait, no! I mean, yes! Sure, I’d love a picture, I mean you can totally take one, I mean-” Alphys dropped her bags to the floor and rummaged through them, searching for her phone. She fished it out, a pawprint charm dangling from the pink case. “W-what I meant is, can I get a picture too? Y-y-your Mew Mew cosplay l-looks great!”

The girl smiled in relief, and reached over to a person standing at a booth, reading manga. “Excuse me, would you mind taking a few pictures for me?” She handed them the camera and stood next to Alphys. “Can you do the, uh, Mew Mew Cutie Beam pose?” she asked Alphys.

“Uh, yeah, sure!” Her nervous trembling beginning to subside, Alphys planted her feet, threw up a peace sign next to one eye, and put her other hand on her hip. The girl did the same, and the camera flashed.

“Can you get one on, uh, my phone too?” Alphys asked, and handed her phone to their captive photographer. She popped back into the pose, and the phone’s camera flashed.

“Great, thanks!” the girl said. “Uh, do you mind if we do another?”

“Sure thing!” Alphys said, smiling. This time, she blew a little kiss at the camera, the girl doing the same.

After a few more pictures, the girl seemed satisfied. “Thank you so much! You’ve got SUCH a great Mew Mew cosplay!”

Alphys smiled – a genuinely happy smile, not forced or nervous. “Thanks! Yours looks great too!”

Brimming with pride at the compliment, the girl hurried off. Alphys still had a big, dopey, slightly dazed smile on her face. She picked up her bags and scanned the crowd for Mettaton – suddenly, the throng of people no longer looked so intimidating.

“Oh, _there_ she is! Alphys, over here!” Mettaton’s arm extended above the crowd (literally – it stretched out over everyone’s head by almost half a dozen feet). Mettaton rolled her way, Toriel and Frisk following close behind.

“Hey, Mettaton. S-sorry, I got distracted and then I looked around and you had gone and-”

“Oh, no, no, no, don’t apologize. It was my fault, darling. Here, let me get those bags for you.” Mettaton’s noodly arms snaked out and snagged Alphys’ things.

“It is good to see you, Alphys.” Toriel smiled down to her. Any of Alphys’ fears about sticking out were immediately calmed; Toriel easily towered over everyone in the dealer’s room. Alphys had to admit that it was hard to recognize her; she was wearing a yellow blouse and an orange skirt with suspenders. Out of her usual robes, she looked like an entirely different person.

Toriel was holding Frisk in one giant arm. They had grown a little, but not much; Frisk was barely taller than Alphys, and only if she was slouching (which was, to be fair, most of the time). They were wearing a small, grey kigurumi with a white belly and pointy ears.

And of course, there was Frisk’s constant companion…

“H-hey, Flowey.”

Flowey, whose flowerpot was held securely in Frisk’s arms, hissed, “You said we were leaving, not looking for the scaly nerd.”

Toriel didn’t notice, or pretended not to. “This entire… con, you called it? It’s quite exciting. Frisk won some kind of video game tournament, although I confess I couldn’t understand what was happening in the game.”

With one free hand, Frisk signed, _I think the guy in the final round cried._

“Glad you’re having fun. We were gonna go to the Mew Mew panel, do you want to come?” Alphys said. “They’ve got the original voice actors from the cartoon, even though the VA’s they brought on mid-season were a lot better in my opinion…”

“I would love to, but Undyne is expecting us for her party soon. Frisk wanted to buy a few things, and then we will probably be going,” Toriel said apologetically.

Frisk signed, _Paintball_. _Sounds like fun._

Toriel carefully let Frisk down, then pulled Alphys into a hug. “Congratulations again, Alphys!” Then, in a lower voice, “Don’t be nervous, dear.”

Alphys, who was nearly being suffocated by Toriel’s huge, furry arms, sputtered back, “Wh-what?”

“I know how uncertain you’ve been these past months – Mettaton and I talk more than you think.” Toriel patted Alphys on the back in what she probably meant to be a sympathetic gesture, but it really just knocked Alphys’ wind out of her. “I think, that at the end of the day, you and Undyne love each other and that’s all that really matters.”

Toriel broke away from the hug, smiling brightly. “Anyway, we will see you at the wedding! Enjoy your party!” She picked Frisk up again and set off across the con floor. Frisk waved back at Alphys, and Flowey looked like he was trying to uproot himself and run away.

Alphys, still a bit lightheaded from Toriel’s hug, couldn’t quite process what she had said. This whole day, she had barely even thought about the wedding.

The wedding. Oh my g-

“Alphys? The panel?”

Alphys blinked and looked at her phone. “Oh, c-c-crap, we’re gonna be late!” She took off, Mettaton rolling right behind her, her worries suddenly forgotten.

 

“AAAAAAAAALRIGHT, LISTEN UP!”

Undyne paced back and forth before her assembled teammates. She was decked out in camo pants and black shirt, with a streak of black paint smeared under each eye and a green-and-brown camo satchel slung over one shoulder. The game had been going on for a while now, and her clothes were splattered with paint of various colors.

“It’s been a hard campaign, people, but victory is at hand! Today, we will storm the enemy fortress and end this long-fought war!”

Papyrus looked perplexed. “Huh, I thought we’ve only been out here for a few hours.”

“Just roll with it, bro,” Sans said. While Papyrus was dressed in camo fatigues that Undyne had picked out for him (which ironically made him easier to hit; most shots would pass right between his bones without a shirt on), Sans was dressed in his usual jacket and shorts. Both had their fair share of paint splatters as well.

Undyne ignored the interruption and continued. “This will be a battle for the ages, people! If we win, history will remember us for centuries!”

The four of them – Undyne, Papyrus, Sans, and Asgore – were grouped up below a small ridge, in the forests at the foot of Mt. Ebott. On the other side of the ridge, across a small stream, and on top of a nearby hill was a small, ramshackle fort that had been constructed for Undyne’s party. It was the fourth in a series of forts that had since been splattered with paint and claimed by Undyne’s team, the “Monster’s Liberation Front.”

“I won’t lie; this fight will be tough. It’ll be dangerous, it’ll be deadly, and it will be _glorious_. And know that I will NOT leave any of you behind!” Undyne stopped pacing and faced her team. “Any questions?”

“Err,” Asgore said sheepishly, “Undyne, are you _sure_ there aren’t any larger guns?”

Asgore, unfortunately, had caught the brunt of the enemy’s paint; his size and white fur made him a very easy target. To make matters worse, the paintball gun looked like a toy in his giant hands, and he could barely fit a finger through the trigger. His size also meant he barely felt it when he got hit; a shot that would sting on a normal human or monster barely registered to him.

“For the last time, they only make them in that one size,” Undyne said. Realizing she sounded a bit harsh, she added, “Sorry.”

Reaching into her satchel, Undyne pulled out a map. “Now, here’s the plan; team A (that’s me and Asgore) will attack from the south. Once we’ve got their attention, team B (that’s you, Sans) will attack from the east and team C (Papyrus) will hit them from the west. That should scatter their defense, and while they’re in disarray, team A charges in and ends it!” Undyne smacked the map for emphasis. “Any questions?”

“I don’t really see how I qualify as a ‘team’ when it’s just me,” Papyrus said. “And why does Sans get to be team B?”

“(C’mon, Papyrus, you’re really throwing off my whole ‘valiant leader’ thing. Work with me here,)” Undyne whispered.

“Undyne, why are you whispering? Everyone can hear you, we’re all reallllllly close toge-“

“NGAAAAH, forget it!” Undyne rolled up the map and picked up her paintball gun. “MONSTER’S LIBERATION FRONT, MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE OUT!”

With Undyne in the lead, they climbed up the ridge and hurried across the stream (or at least, Undyne hurried. It was hard to match her hurry. Papyrus jogged, Asgore tried to be as sneaky as his size allowed, and Sans just kind of meandered). As the fort came into sight, Undyne threw up a clenched fist. There was a moment of chaos as Papyrus screeched to a halt and Asgore nearly bowled him over, then they were all huddled at the foot of the hill. Undyne pointed left, then right, then forward, and looked back at her team to make sure they understood.

Papyrus looked quizzically at her, Asgore stood uncomfortably at the ready, and Sans just… kinda stood there, somehow giving off an air of goofing off despite not doing anything at all.

Undyne rolled her eyes and gave her hand signals again, to a similar lack of response.

She groaned and smacked her forehead. “Uggggh. Papyrus, go right. Sans, left. Asgore, you’re with me, I JUST went over this!”

“Oh!” Papyrus straightened up and ran around the left side of the hill as fast as his bony legs could carry him.

“Quiet! At least TRY to be sneaky!”

“Ohhhhh.” Papyrus dropped into an exaggerated army crawl that left his rear up in the air.

Undyne rolled her eyes and looked at Sans, who was… gone. She looked around, and spotted him up in a tree off on the right side of the hill. He threw her a thumbs up and his usual cheeky grin.

That works, she thought. Finally, Undyne turned to Asgore. “Ready?”

“Well, I suppose so.” Asgore had managed to fit one huge finger around the trigger, and was holding the whole thing like it was about to explode.

“Okay…” Undyne turned to the fort, and her face split in a toothy grin.

“CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGE!” She leapt to her feet and began her sprint up the hill, firing suppressing shots at the fort. Asgore followed behind, moving quickly despite his large frame; he’d gone a bit soft after coming to the surface by Undyne’s reckoning, but he still had some speed left in him.

In response to her battlecry, a quartet of barrels sprung up from the fort walls like a porcupine’s quills.

“Like, heyyyyyyyyyyy, Undyne!”  
“Like, heyyyyyyyyyyy, Undyne!” Catty and Bratty shouted gleefully in unison as they took aim.

Frisk, who was wearing a facemask that was a bit too big for them, waved. Flowey, who was sitting on the barricade next to them, hissed.

“Hello, Undyne,” Toriel said peacefully. Her tone was considerably at odds with her readied weapon and war paint smeared on her face.

“Hi, Tori!”

“Quite brave of you to attack alone, Undyne.”

“Uh, I’m here t-”

“Very brave indeed, taking us four-on-one.”

“Actually, it’s four on two, Tor-” Before Asgore could finish, a volley of paint forced him into cover behind a rock.

Undyne took cover and fired back blindly. The fort’s position on the hill made it difficult to approach, and there was about a fifteen-foot radius of no cover around it.

Time to call in the backup. Undyne put her fingers between her lips and blew a loud whistle.

Nothing happened. Undyne blew another, slightly less powerful whistle.

Nothing.

…

“PAPYRUS!”

“Yes?” Papyrus’s head popped out from behind a bush.

“Go! Attack! That’s what the whistle means!”

“Ohhh!” Papyrus took aim carefully, then ducked back behind the bush as a spray of paint flew his way.

So much for the element of surprise, Undyne thought. And where was Sans?

Her question answered itself as a low snore came from atop a nearby tree.

This was not going well. Instead of scattering their defenses, Undyne’s team had walked right onto a firing range.

It pained Undyne to do this, but it looked like there was no other choice. “RETREAT!” she yelled, and booked it down the hill. Asgore followed, shielding Undyne from a few stray shots. They splashed across the river and jumped down the ridge, landing right back where they started.

“AAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHH, we almost had them!” Undyne punched a nearby log, nearly cracking the wood. “I’ll get them next time, just wait! Maybe if we all hit them from the front and Sans went around the rear, and-”

She stopped. Asgore was chuckling. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing, nothing. It’s just that I haven’t seen you have this much fun in a long time,” Asgore said while trying to wipe the paint from his fur.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Well…You’ve been a lot more…restrained, I suppose. I was almost wondering what happened to the little kid who charged into my garden and demanded a duel.”

Undyne sat down on the log she had just punched. “Well, it’s not like I have much of a choice. Have to keep up appearances for all the humans, and junk like that.” She sighed and kicked at the ground. “It’s kinda frustrating, y’know? It’d be nice if could just go out and, I dunno, cut loose more often.”

“Hmmm,” Asgore said thoughtfully.

She was a bit jealous of him. The thought rose suddenly to the front of Undyne’s mind. He may have been the king of monsters once upon a time, Undyne thought, but Asgore had never really been any sort of a fighter. He had trained her, and would no doubt stomp her flat if it ever came to a fight between them, but he was just too… amicable. Nice. Peaceful, she supposed. He hadn’t had any trouble settling down to an easy life when they all came up to the surface. Meanwhile, Undyne had to hold herself back from socking any human that looked at her with even a bit of suspicion or fear.

She honestly missed the days of the Royal Guard; patrolling the underground, keeping the peace, training Papyrus…

Papyrus. Where was he? Caught up in their hasty retreat, she hadn’t even noticed that Papyrus and Sans were nowhere to be seen.

“Sup, you two.”

Well, Papyrus was MIA, at least. Sans dropped casually down from the ridge, scratching his back.

“Enjoy your nap, Sans?” Undyne said sarcastically.

“Yeah. I tell ya, those trees are a lot more comfortable than they look. Oh yeah, you probably want to read this.” Sans produced a folded piece of paper and handed it to Undyne.

Undyne took the paper and unfolded it. On it was a messy, handwritten message.

 _Heyyyyyyy Undyne! It’s Catty!_  
_Heyyyyyyy Undyne! It’s Bratty!_  
_So, we captured Papyrus!_  
_Yeah, he’s like, a prisoner of war._  
_If you can’t find him soon, who knows what’s gonna happen…_  
_Yeah, like, you’ll lose the game if you don’t have your full team!_

Halfway down the page, the handwriting changed.

_Hello, Undyne. This is Toriel. We have taken Papyrus captive. If you cannot rescue him before sunset, he will be fine (he seems to be quite enjoying himself). However, you will have to forfeit the game, and we will win._

_Also, Frisk told me to write “gg 2 ez.” I am not sure what that means, but they seem quite pleased with themself.._

Undyne stared at the paper, her tightening grip slowly crumpling it in her hands.

“Uh, Undyne? You okay?”

Undyne dropped the paper and grabbed her paintball gun. “LET’S MOOOOOOVE OUT!”

Any trace of her previous mental fog was gone; there was a fire in her eyes and she was standing tall. “People, our comrade-in-arms has been captured by the enemy! If he isn’t rescued, who KNOWS what could happen to him! I, for one, will not sit idly by as the enemy does whatever they want to him! ARE YOU WITH ME?!?”

Asgore nodded vigorously, and Sans shrugged. Thankfully, Undyne was too fired up to notice their moderate reactions.

Undyne wanted to charge the fort as soon as possible, but when she kicked down one of the walls and leveled her weapon, she saw it was empty. On the floor was another note, mainly taunts from Catty and Bratty. From there, the three of them split up and began searching.

Undyne dashed through the woods, leaping over rocks and fallen trees. Her paintball gun bounced in a sling on her back, and the trees flew by in a blur.

Finally, when she stopped and looked around, Undyne realized she didn’t recognize any of the surrounding forest. The trees were a lot a thinner, and the ground a lot rockier; she had probably left the foothills behind and begun to climb Mt. Ebott itself. Nearby, the side of the mountain opened up in a wide cave.

Suddenly, Undyne thought she saw something move in the darkness of the cave entrance. Giving a battle cry, she rushed in.

The cave was a lot bigger than it looked; past the opening, it opened up into a wide passage. Undyne squinted through the darkness as she stalked through the cave, paintball gun at the ready.

Strange, Undyne thought. Maybe it was just the darkness playing tricks on her, but she could swear the walls of the cave had some sort of…structure. It almost looked like there were pillars carved out of the stone.

Up ahead, she could see light. The tunnel opened up to a large cavern that had a hole in the top, opening it up to the sky. The sun was only just barely shining through; before long, it would dip below the edge of the cave and plunge the place into darkness. Foliage and vines crisscrossed the floor. In the center of the cavern was a huge hole, leading down into darkness.

As Undyne stepped into the cavern, she knew that she hadn’t been imagining the pillars; the tunnel’s opening had an ornate frame that had been carved directly out of the rock. She began to feel a sense of foreboding as she approached the hole.

I should just turn back, she thought. They’re obviously not here, whatever I saw moving must have been some sort of trick of the light.

Still, she continued forward, and came to the edge of the pit. Way down below, through the fading light, she could just barely see something golden-colored.

She already knew where she was and what she was looking at. That’s the Underground, she thought. This must be where Frisk fell down.

Undyne laid her weapon on the ground and sat on the edge. Ever since the barrier broke and everyone had come flooding out of the Underground, she hadn’t ever been back. It wasn’t completely abandoned – a few monsters had stayed behind, and a few humans had even moved in – but it was nowhere near the crowded kingdom it had once been.

She swung her legs back and forth. I could probably make the jump from here, she thought. Hell, Frisk survived the fall, so I could do it easy.

Everything was so much simpler down there. All I had to do was be on guard for humans, patrol Waterfall, and train.

Undyne lost track of how long she had been sitting there, legs dangling over the abyss. The sun slipped out of sight, and eventually the sky began to darken. The golden flowers at the bottom of the hole began to fade from sight.

Now or never, a distant voice in Undyne’s head said. She stopped kicking her legs back and forth.

Undyne began to slip forward…

“UNDYNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNE!”

“Gah!” The sudden yell gave her a jolt, almost sending her over the edge. Her voice echoed around the cavern, and she heard footsteps clomping her way.

“There you are!” Papyrus came running into the cavern, covered in paint and smiling. “We’ve been looking all over for you! It’s getting dark, and Catty and Bratty and Toriel and Frisk let me go because you hadn’t found us yet. What’re you doing?”

“I – uh, nothing, let’s-”

“Oh hey! Isn’t this where Frisk fell into the Underground?” Papyrus sat down next to Undyne. “Wow, that’s a long drop!”

“Uh…yeah.” Undyne suddenly became aware of just how far it was, and shivered. For a minute, the two sat there in silence.

Finally, Undyne spoke up hesitantly. “Papyrus… do you ever miss it? Y’know, living in the Underground?”

“Yeah, of course!” Papyrus said, sounding as chipper as always. “There’s a lot of good memories down there, like training with you and making puzzles and looking for humans!”

“Yeah…”Undyne was about to continue, but Papyrus cut her off.

“But those are just memories, right? And all the people I got to make them with are still here, so I can make some more! Heck, now there’s even MORE people to make make memories with up here!”

“Everything’s so _different_ , though!” Undyne tried to kick out in anger, but only succeeded in swinging her legs violently through the air. “Everything’s weird! Everyone acts so different since they came up here! Everything just _looks_ different! Why can’t things just be the way they were again?”

“Well… do you really want them to be the same?”

Undyne stared down into the hole, disgruntled. “I can’t think of a single thing that wasn’t better down there.”

“What about Alphys?”

Undyne stopped kicking her legs. Papyrus pressed on. “I mean, if you two had never met Frisk, you might never have told her how you really feel.”

Undyne blushed a little. Papyrus scooted over and threw an arm around her shoulder. “I miss the Underground a lot too, but hey, it’s just a place! We’re all still here, and I think that’s what matters!”

The sun had dipped beneath the horizon, and the sliver of sky visible through the hole in the cavern roof had gone bluish-black. As Undyne’s eyes adjusted, she realized she couldn’t see the glint of gold that marked the bottom of the hole anymore.

She stared into the darkness for another second, then hugged Papyrus. “Thanks, Papyrus.”

The hug turned into a noogie. “You nerd,” Undyne added. With a toothy grin she stood up. “Now let’s get back to the fight, soldier!” Reaching into her satchel, she pulled out a pair of night vision goggles and strapped them on. “Time to get even for your dastardly kidnapping!”

Undyne sprinted out of the cave, Papyrus following. Their footsteps echoed around the chamber for a few moments more, then it was silent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: My friend said that Burgerpants had an eight pack. That Burgerpants was shredded.


	3. i'm not as think as you drunk i am

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> afterparties and serious amounts of alcohol. and gay. a heck of a lot of gay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> three month hiatus? what three month hiatus haahahahhahhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa  
> but seriously, sorry for the long delay. i wish i could promise that the next chapter is coming quickly, but it's not. next update date TBD.  
> anyway, another big shoutout to dicaeopolis for both betaing the chapter and helping me get off my ass and work on it. enjoy!

“I can’t _believe_ you talked me into this!”

Alphys tried to squirm down into her seat even lower. Somehow, Mettaton had convinced her to stay for the Cosplay Cabaret event, and she was feeling more than a little overwhelmed. The convention team had rented a local nightclub for the event, and the atmosphere was loud, excited, and more than a little bit intoxicated.

“Oh, pish-posh, dear. You need to live a little! Get wild! Sow your oats, and things like that!” Mettaton leaned in a little closer. “Plus, I had to spend the day in that ridiculous costume, so you owe me at LEAST one.”

“Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, Alphys! Live a little!”  
“Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, c’mon, girl!” Catty and Bratty jostled up against Alphys, giving her slightly drunk nudges and winks. The two had barely gotten away from Undyne’s party, and were still showing a few splatters of paint, which somehow fit in with their outfits. Alphys was still in her Mew Mew cosplay from the convention, which thankfully wasn’t out of place; most of the people in the club had come straight from the con, still in their cosplays.

Some of the cosplayers were...more dressed than others.

Alphys took a nervous sip of her (non-alcoholic) drink. The con was one thing; people had a degree of restraint there. At least they had a private booth. A combination of Mettaton’s insistence (“This lady is getting MARRIED in a few short days!”) Mettaton’s size, and Catty and Bratty’s toothy grins had convinced the hostess to give them a VIP booth.

While it was nice to have a bit of privacy, said booth was also very close to the stage. Alphys could practically see the sweat flying off the performers. Right now, the stage was occupied by a group of attractive guys in gaudy school uniforms, dancing and doing….other stuff. Alphys was trying to avoid watching too closely.

“M-Mettaton, can we g-go? Look, I get that you wanted me t-to come out of my shell, or something, but this is all r-r-really…”

Mettaton sensed her discomfort, and sighed. “All right, dear. After this next performance, we can go if you want.” He scooted his square frame out of the booth. “I’ll be right back with a last round of drinks!”

“Thanks.” Alphys slouched down in the booth as low as she could go. She knew Mettaton meant well, but this whole event was a little bit overwhelming. It wasn’t just the noise or the bright lights; she didn’t know anybody here except Mettaton, Catty, and Bratty.

Alphys paid little attention as the act finished. As the group left the stage, the hostess came up on stage and began saying something about karaoke. As she was talking, Mettaton rolled back to the table, empty-handed.

“I though you said you were going to get drinks…?”

“Did I say that?” Mettaton said. Alphys could almost imagine the expression of shocked and obviously faked surprise he was trying to make.

“Mettaton, what did y-“

“Shhh shhh shhhhhhhh! Performance about to start! Quiet in the club!” Mettaton scooted into the booth.

Up on the stage, the hostess was talking again. “We’ve got a few requests for karaoke, and first up is…” she squinted at the list for a moment. “Snow Halation.”

After a moment where the hostess was probably wondering why she ever agreed to rent her club out to a crowd of nerds and weaboos, she put on a forced-looking smile. “So, if you want to come on up and sing, feel free!”

A few people cheered and climbed up on the stage. Mettaton looked expectantly at Alphys, who was staring at her drink. He gave her a little nudge. “Welllllllllllllllllllllll?”

Alphys dropped her head to the table with a _thud_. She let out a low groan which vibrated the table, her glass rattling a little.

“Pstt. Mettaton.”  
“Yeah, like, psssssst.” Catty and Bratty nudged Mettaton. “Maybe you should like, lay off a bit.”

“Yeah, I think she a bit overwhelmed, ya know?” Catty looked sympathetically at Alphys. “I know we’re trying to, like, get her out of her shell and all, but, like, she’s looking kinda freaked out.”

As if in response, Alphys’ muffled groan came through the table.

Mettaton relented. Maybe he had been pushing a little too hard. “Well, I think we’ve all had enough of clubbing for the night,” he said, trying to keep an upbeat tone in his voice. Mettaton awkwardly scooted out of the booth and turned to Alphys. “Alphys, let’s-“

Before he could finish, a yellow blur flashed by him. Mettaton turned to follow it, and saw a yellow tail disappear into the growing crowd on the stage. A few moments later, a slowly speeding up piano medley began playing.

“ _Fushigi da ne ima no kimochi, sora kara futte kita mitai…”_

There were a dozen people in cosplay crowded around the single mic stand, and their pronunciation left a hell of a lot to be desired. People were crowding to get closer to the mic, occasionally bumping it and amplifying the noise over the entire crowd.

“ _Tokubetsu na kisetsu no iro ga, tokimeki wo miseru yo…_ ”

Still, it was obvious everyone was enjoying themselves. Musical criticisms aside, Mettaton found himself getting a bit into it.

The song’s pace began to pick up. ” _Hajimete, deatta toki kara, yokan ni sawagu, kokoro no melody,”_

Suddenly, there was a small scuffle in the middle of the crowd. Someone was pushing their way to the front.

The music began to reach a climax. “ _Tomerarenai tomaranai, na – ze!”_

Alphys burst out of the front of the crowd and stood on her tiptoes to reach the mic. “ _Todokete setsunasa ni wa, namae wo, tsukeyou ka snow halation!”_

Her singing voice was cracky, a little off-key, and certainly wouldn’t be winning any Ebottian Idol competitions, but her pronunciation was spot-on and she belted the words out with ten times the gusto of anyone else on stage. Some of the crowd even stepped back to give her room at the mic.

“ _Omoi ga, kasanaru made – matezu ni, kuyashii kedo suki tte junjo! Binetsu no naka, tamerattemo dame da ne, tobikomu yuuki ni sansei, mamonaku start!”_

The song came to a bursting climax, and the audience cheered. Mettaton clapped as hard and fast as he could (somewhere around 5.3 claps per second). Alphys had a nervous, somewhat-crazed smile plastered on her face.

The song went on for a few more verses, and finally ended with a swelling burst of energy that softened into a twinkle of chimes. The crowd went wild, Catty and Bratty yelled and pounded the table with excitement, and the hostess looked like she needed another drink.

Alphys looked ready to collapse, but before she could flee the stage, the next song started.

 _“Zankoku, na tenshi no you ni…_ ”

In the end, Alphys stayed on stage singing for almost the entire karaoke section, even after they started singing songs that weren’t in badly-pronounced Japanese. When the karaoke finally ended, Alphys stumbled off the stage and slid back into the booth, her face flushed. Mettaton gave her a moment to cool down.

Finally, she looked at him with mixed annoyance and gratitude. “D-DON’T say ‘I told you so.’”

“I’m not saying anything,” Mettaton said, clearly saying something with his smug tone. “So, do you still want to leave?”

“F-f-f-f-fine.” Alphys seemed to sulk for a moment. “That was f-f-fun.”

As the night passed, Alphys came out of her half-sulk and for once, actually seemed to be enjoying herself. She began cheering the performers along with the rest of the audience. They ended up staying way longer than even Mettaton had intended to.

Eventually, Mettaton checked the time and saw with a jolt that it was past midnight. _Way_ past midnight. He wouldn’t be surprised if they didn’t make it home before sunrise.

“Alright, we should wrap it up, dear.” Mettaton began to scooch out of the booth, but was stopped by a hand grabbing his arm.

“H-hey, let’s… let’s stay a little longer, c’mon!”

Mettaton realized that maybe he’d done too good a job of getting Alphys to loosen up. She pulled him back into the booth, wobbling unsteadily in her seat.

“Why – hic! Whyd’ya wanna leaveee so soon?” Alphys’ words were slurring together like melting snow.

Mettaton looked accusingly at Catty and Bratty, who were struggling to hold back laughter. “How much did she drink?”

“Like…Pfffttt…like,”  
“Like, one drink, lmao.”  
“I think it was, like, orange soda and two shots of vodka?”  
“Yeah, it was!” The pair nearly fell out of their seats laughing.

Mettaton sighed. “One more act, then we go.” The irony of the situation wasn’t lost on him.

The last act was the kind that would have had Alphys burying her head in her hands at if she was sober. The dancer up on stage was wearing – or at least, had been wearing – some sort of Kamen Rider/Power Rangers/Sentai outfit; flashy armor with a masked helmet. As he slowly stripped the chestplate off, it was clear the muscled shape of the armor wasn’t just for show.       

“Wooooooooo-*hic*-woooooooo!” Alphys cheered and spilled most of her drink. Mettaton hadn’t figured her for a heavy drinker, but he hadn’t expected her to be _this_ much of a lightweight.

Catty and Bratty cheered at the dancer too. Their voices got his attention, and he slowly sauntered down towards their booth. As he stretched out across the edge of the stage, Mettaton noticed that he was a monster; he hadn’t been able to tell from a distance, but his entire body was covered in soft, tan fur.

He kept dancing and stripping until he was down to just the helmet and a pair of underwear that was skimpy enough to use as floss. Even through her drunken haze, Alphy was blushing redder than her fiancée’s hair. After a moment of working up her courage, Alphys fumbled in her purse, retrieved a handful of bills, and threw them at the stage. Catty and Bratty hooted.

The next few seconds happened very quickly. The dancer reached for the bills, but suddenly lost his balance and fell. His head hit the edge of the stage, there was a _click_ of the mask’s latch opening, and his helmet fell off and bounced across the floor.

A pair of long, floppy bunny ears popped out from under the helmet.

Although the music was still going and the crowd was anything but quiet, the booth where Alphys and her friends were was more silent than the reaction to one of Asgore’s lame jokes.

Except for Alphys herself. She gave another alcoholic hiccup and giggled. “H-hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, Burgerpants! What’s – hic! – what’s upppppp!”

Burgerpants didn’t respond, as he was no longer on the stage. He escaped backstage faster than Mettaton had ever seen him move.

Meanwhile, Mettaton (and Catty and Bratty) were still sitting in the booth in shocked silence. If Mettaton had a jaw, he would have been trying to pick it up off the floor. Alphys was the only one who didn’t seem fazed by the sudden revelation that Burgerpants had a six pack.

“Hey- hhhey Mettaton!” Alphys slurred. “Tha- that was so _weird_ seeing Burgerpants here! I didn’t think he did cosplay or anything like… like… thaaaaa…”

Alphys’ voice trailed off as she slowly tipped sideways, fell on Mettaton’s lap, and passed out.

 

Keeping low to the ground, Undyne crept through the dark forest, rifle at the ready, night-vision goggles painting the trees a bright green. The camo pattern of her clothes was now almost indistinguishable through the paint covering them. The moon and sun had swapped places a long time ago, and it was a perfectly clear night with the stars shining down.

Close now, she thought. Almost there. Raising her goggles to her forehead, Undyne checked her ammo. The few remaining paintballs bounced forlornly around in the canister.

Six shots, she thought. More than enough to hit anything that moves. She pulled the goggles back over her eyes and kept moving.

Nighttime had completely changed the game. No more head-on assaults or valiant charges; it was a game of patience now. Undyne was no slouch when it came to stealth and stalking; the darkness of the forest was nothing compared to the near pitch-blackness of Waterfall.

She knew just where her prey was too. For whatever reason, they had all gathered up in a large clearing up ahead. Sitting ducks. For some reason, they had even made a fire, making it all the easier to creep up on them.

Undyne adjusted the goggles, zooming in on the clearing. She didn’t actually need them, but they looked too cool to pass up. Even she had to admit they wouldn’t help much now; with the light of the campfire filling the clearing, she’d be blinded if she went in there with them on.

After returning the goggles to her bag, Undyne readied her rifle and moved to the edge of the clearing. Crouched behind a tree, she marked her targets, prepared to spring, and…

“Oh, hey Undyne.”

And nearly shot herself in the foot out of surprise. Sans was sitting in the very tree she was hiding behind, slipper-clad feet dangling above her. Why was he still wearing those? Why was he _always_ wearing those?

“Geez, we’ve been looking all over for ya. C’mon, join the party.” Before Undyne could swing her rifle up to him, he dropped down and meandered into the clearing. “Ladies, gentlemen, and gentlepeople, our guest of honor has finally arrived.” As he entered the campsite, he turned back and dropped his voice a bit. “By the way, you should probably lose the gun. It’s a party, y’know.”

Undyne abashedly lowered her paintball gun and stepped into the clearing. The campsite was set up around a roaring bonfire; judging by the very uniform flame and lack of smoke, Toriel had probably lit it with fire magic. Several logs, each one cut clean down the middle, served as benches, arranged in a rough circle around the fire. Various kinds of food sizzled and popped on a grill over the fire.

“Hey there, Undyne!” Papyrus waved jovially. “You’re just in time for the cake!” Undyne had barely sat down and hadn’t even taken off her gear before a plate was thrust into her hands. “Frisk  made it themself!”

Frisk, whose feet couldn’t even reach the ground from their perch on the log, signed _Toriel made it. Told Papyrus I did._

“Uh… thanks.” Undyne took a bite. She had to admit it was delicious; red velvet cake, with creamy blue frosting. She set it down for a second to try and wriggle out of her paintball gear, but she couldn’t even get the goggles off before Papyrus was shoving more food into her hands.

“And of course I, The Great Papyrus, have made use of my most exquisite spaghettimancery to craft you this dish!” Papyrus beamed at Undyne as she fumbled with a heaping plate of spaghetti. “I know you must be hungry after all that time in the woods, so I used two boxes of spaghetti!”

While Undyne was getting her plate under control, Papyrus passed around equally loaded plates to everyone. Toriel accepted hers with a gracious smile, Asgore dug in quickly, Sans said something about watching his figure but accepted the plate anyway, Frisk started eating almost right away, and Flowey flailed about in his flowerpot and tried in vain to eviscerate the mountain of pasta.

Undyne had to admit, it was good spaghetti. And she _was_ really hungry. For the next few minutes, the campsite was pretty quiet as everyone ate. That was the thing about Papyrus’s cooking; even if you were full, you _had_ to eat it. The first time Undyne had heard Papyrus say “spaghettimancery”, she had to shovel more spaghetti into her mouth just to stifle her laughter, but now she was seriously convinced there was some sort of magic involved in his cooking.

Before she knew it, Undyne’s plate was empty. She set down her plate, belched, and looked around the campsite. Asgore was still picking at his with a fork and knife, Sans’ helping had disappeared, plate and all, Toriel’s plate was suspiciously clean and the fire was burning suspiciously brighter, Frisk was slurping up their final noodle, and Flowey’s helping looked it had been mauled by a very small, very angry bear that had given up halfway through and just succumbed to the pasta.

Undyne impatiently bounced in her seat, eyeing her paintball rifle which was leaning against the bench. The pasta and cake were all well and good, delicious and filling, etc. etc., but she was anxious to get back to the game. Would it be unsporting to launch a surprise attack right now? If she dove right and grabbed her gun in one motion, she could probably tag Toriel and Sans before they could move, but that would leave the fire between her and Frisk, and-

“Drinks, dear?”

Undyne was startled out of her tactical planning by Toriel cracking open the drink cooler. She reached in and passed Undyne a bottle of beer, which she awkwardly accepted.

“Sans, do you want anything?”

“Just a ketchup, thanks.”

“Um, Tori, could I have a-“

“Papyrus, what about you, dear?”

“The Great Papyrus will have a Diet Coke! Er, thank you very much.”

“Pass me a beer, To-“

“Anything for you, my child?”

_Can I have what Undyne’s having?_

“Root beer it is, then. Flowey?”

“I want you all to die and I want to feast on your souls.”

“I’ve got Coke, Pepsi, and orange Fanta.”

“Pepsi. Close enough.”

Undyne passed her unopened beer to Asgore, who looked like a broken goat. “Uh, I’ll have another, Toriel.”

For a while, they all just sat, made small talk, and drank. The fire began to die down a bit; Toriel was probably letting it wane, or maybe just losing her concentration. Undyne kept reaching for her rifle, looking for any excuse to get back to the fight, but she kept getting interrupted; Papyrus pushing more food on her, Toriel asking her a question, Sans breaking in with some groan-inducing pun, and Flowey thrashing about in his pot.

As Papyrus ran out of food and the conversation began to die, however, the atmosphere began to get a little awkward. Eventually the only sound was the fire burning and the chirps of bugs and birds throughout the forest. Before Undyne could pick up her rifle and start shooting just to break the silence, Frisk broke it with a wide yawn.

“Feeling tired, kiddo?” Sans stood up and walked over, ruffling Frisk’s hair. Frisk nodded. “Yeah, it’s about time you hit the sack, jack.” As Sans kept walking around the fire, he raised his voice as he came near Asgore. “Yeah, someone should take you home soon, kid.”

When Asgore didn’t react, Sans elbowed him. Asgore looked up, processed what Sans had said, and stood up, stammering a nervous “Um… Er… I’ll…”

Asgore got to his feet and scooped up Frisk, who buried themself in his fur. With his other hand he gingerly picked up Flowey, who thankfully seemed to be asleep. “I’ll just, uh, give Frisk a ride home.” Asgore stood there uncertainly for a moment, like he was waiting for acknowledgement, then began to leave the campsite.

“Thanks, Asgore.”

Toriel’s voice made Asgore’s ears perk up, as if he couldn’t believe them. He looked back at her, surprised, then collected himself. “You’re – uh, you’re welcome, Toriel.”

Frisk waving from over his shoulder, Asgore walked off down the trail, a bit of a spring now in his step. Undyne watched him until he disappeared into the darkness, then shot a meaningful and inquisitive look at Toriel.

Toriel caught her look, avoided it, and took another drink. “My, it seems the alcohol’s getting to me. Can’t quite think straight.”

Undyne continued giving her a look, a smirk sliding slowly across her face like a snail that was in no hurry to get where it was going.

Toriel kept trying to avoid her stare. Sans was holding back laughter.

Undyne finally broke the silence. “Finally on speaking terms with the ex, Toriel?” she snickered. “Oh wait, I mean ‘Tori’.”

Sans couldn’t hold his laughter anymore and broke out cackling. Seems like Toriel’s not the only one a little tipsy, Undyne thought. Hell, she was too; the warmth from the fire felt nice in the chill of the night air, and there was a pleasant haze drifting through her head. For the first time tonight, she forgot about the paintball gun leaning against the log.

The mood in the campsite got considerably more upbeat after that. As the night went on, laughter echoed through the woods and the fire burned brightly. After a few hours, the site was littered with trash, mainly beer bottles.

After either her fifth or sixth beer, Undyne flopped back on the log and let out a burp. Toriel, who was looking far more disorderly than usual, giggled. “Excuuuuuse you.”

“Bite me.” Undyne snorted. Through the haze of five (six?) beers, she realized she hadn’t felt this relaxed in…well, she couldn’t recall ever feeling this relaxed. It wasn’t just the six (seven?) beers in her gut, however; it was something else. Maybe it was the forest, which had finally gone quiet and calm. Maybe it was the blanket of stars filling the sky and casting a little extra light down on them. Maybe it was the laughter and happy conversation of friends.

Maybe it was a lot of things, but what Undyne knew is that she felt just… good. Better than good, even.

“Undyne? Hey, Undyne?”

And sleepy. Very sleepy.

“Oh dear.”

Undyne slipped sideways off the log and was out like a light before she hit the ground.

 

“Yyyyyyyyyyyyyyou’re comfy, Mettatatonnnn.”

“Thanks, dear.”

The two were on their way back to Alphys and Undyne’s apartment, and Mettaton was cradling Alphys in his arms like a very scaly, intoxicated baby. Catty and Bratty were still at the club; they had said something about trying to get “a private show.” Both of them had had sharp glints in their eyes, and Mettaton decided not to question their intentions. Alphys’ place wasn’t far, so Mettaton decided to just walk (or rather, roll).

They were out late enough that even the moon had decided to turn in for the night, and the sun would probably be poking over the horizon any minute now. The stoplights had also clocked out and were just flashing yellow.

It wasn’t often that Mettaton felt tired, but he was prepared to plug himself into the nearest wall socket and do some defragging. At this point, he’d even settle for sapping power out of a car charger.

Alphys snuggled down into Mettaton’s arms and let out a hiccup. “Hey… hey Mettaaaaaaa, you know what?”

“What, Alphys?”

“Things are… things are r-… reallyyyyyyyyy good right now.” Alphys giggled. “I feel greeeeeeat.”

“I think you’ll feel better after a nice long nap,” Mettaton said. _Although you’re going to have a hell of a hangover,_ he added silently.

“Oh… oh you know what elseeeee is great, Mettatata? Guess what else is greatttt.”

“What’s great, Alphys?”

“Myyyyyyyyyy girlfrienend! Oh… oh wiat I mean my fi- my finance. Unydine’s my finance,” Alphys said in an immensely satisfied tone. “And weeeeeeee’re getting maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarried in a few dayyyyyyys, didya know that Mettattatt? Didya?”

Mettaton feigned ignorance. “I had no idea, dear! Congratulations!”

“Yyyyyyyyyyyyyyeah!” Alphys punched the air in excitement, nearly smacking Mettaton in the face. “She’s gonna… she’s gonna be my wwwwwwwwwwwwife. She’s m’ wwwwwwaifu.”

“Indeed she is, dear.” Mettaton stopped and gently let Alphys down onto her feet. “We’re here. Let’s get you upstairs and in bed, shall we?”

“Hey… hhhhey Metta, d’you know Undyne? You know her right? Isn’t she…. Isn’t she just the bessssssssssssssssst?” Alphys took the steps one at a time with the exaggerated care of a drunk. “She’s so… so _cool_ and she’sss super _awesome_ and really _hot_ …”

Mettaton decided to just let her talk.

“And ohhhhhh my god, she’s just so… so…” Alphys threw up her hands and made a noise that was somewhere between a scream and a sigh, and looked at Mettaton. “Y’know? Y’knowwwwwwwwwwwwwww?”

“I know, dear.”

“I can’t… I can’t belieeeeeve I’m getting MARRIED! To HER!” Alphys slumped against Mettaton’s shoulder. “Like, I just, I’m just soooooooooooo lucky, can you blelieve it?”

“Yes I can, Alphys.”

Alphys sniggered. “Believeve it. Dattebayo.” She fished around in her purse for her keys, and after missing the lock several times Mettaton took them from her and opened the door.

“Can you make it back up by yourself?” Mettaton couldn’t fit in the elevator, and their apartment was on the fourth floor; even just hopping his way up the stairs in front of the building had worn him out.

“Y- yesh.” Alphys flashed him a thumbs up as she stumbled into the elevator.

“Okay, good night, dear. I’ll see you on the big day!” Mettaton turned and began to roll away.

“M- Mettaton!” Alphys flailed at the door and stopped it before it closed. She took a moment to gather what unintoxicated brain cells she had, then waved to Mettaton. “Thanks for everything today. I had a lot of fun.”

“You’re welcome, Alphys.” Mettaton waved back as the elevator doors slid shut on Alphys’ flushed, smiling face.

 

“Oh my goddddddd.”

“Undyne, please buckle up! Seatbelts save lives!”

The van rolled down the highway, streetlights alternatively flooding the car with light when under them and turning the windows into black mirrors when out of them. The only things visible outside were the headlights of cars going the other direction, and taillights of cars passing the van by. The highway went up and down several small hills on its way, giving the car a gentle rocking feeling.

Since Papyrus was the only one at the party who wasn’t totally wasted, the task of designated driver had fallen to him. After everyone had stumbled their way into Toriel’s minivan, Papyrus had begun driving back to town at a safe and careful 30 miles per hour.

After being passed by at least two dozen other cars, Undyne, who was lying across the back seat, groaned. “Papyrusssssssss, if you don’t go faster I’m gonna… I’m gonna get out and walk home.”

“Traffic safety is serious business, Undyne! It’s better to get home late than not at all!”

“Bro…bro…” Sans interjected, then forgot what he was going to say, then fell back asleep in the passenger seat.

The van trundled on for another few minutes, then Undyne spoke up again.

“Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh my godddddddddddddddddddddddd.”

“Backseat driving is a major cause of highway accidents, Undyne!”

“No, it’s not- it’s not you, it’s…” Undyne rolled onto her side. “Oh my goddddddddddddd, I’m getting married in a few days, you guys. That’s…that’s crazy.” She tried to sit up, wobbled in her seat a bit, then fell back down. “I’m getting married to… god, have I told you guys just… just how much I love Alphys? Like… god.”

Toriel laughed. She was a little less of an intoxicated mess than Undyne, but not by much. “We know, Undyne. You were VERY vocal about it back at the campsite.”

“No…no you don’t geddit… hang on…” Undyne groped at her pockets, eventually got a hand in, and pulled out her phone. “Look. Lookit thissss.” After somehow putting in her password, she opened the camera and began flipping through pictures.

Sans woke up for a second. “Undyne… Undyne you showed us those at the part- the partyzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.”

“No you don’t GET IT, LOOK at her.” Undyne shoved her phone in Toriel’s face. On the screen was a picture of Alphys snapped in the middle of eating a burger. Undyne swiped to the next one, which was obviously taken seconds later, where Alphys was blushing and shying away from the camera. Then the next one, which was a selfie of Undyne flashing a peace sign at the camera and Alphys still blushing and hiding her face in her hands.

Then the next one, which was Alphys-

“Um, Undyne…” Now Toriel was the one blushing.

“Whu?” Undyne looked at the phone screen. “Ah! Uh! You’re, uh, not supposed to see that one!” She pulled her phone back and shoved it back in her pocket, which took a few tries. “Verrrrry private. Shhhhhhhh.”

Undyne flopped back onto her seat and sighed. “But she’s just sooooooo great. Like, she’s smart and passionate about stuff and super cute and god I could listen to her talk like. All day. Like she always does this thing where she starts talking about something really in depth and I don’t get it and then she realizes she’s being a huge adorable nerd and she stops and gets all blushy and stuff and it’s super cute.”

There was silence in the car for a moment. Then Sans woke up for a moment. “That’s…that’s really gay.” He fell back to sleep.

Undyne snorted. “You KNOW it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *nightcore remix of mendelssohn's wedding march playing in the background*


	4. here come the brides

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> everyone's favorite lizard weaboo and buff fish tie the knot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off, a HUGE thanks to [dicaeopolis](http://archiveofourown.org/users/dicaeopolis/pseuds/dicaeopolis) and [ tropiccitrus](http://archiveofourown.org/users/tropiccitrus/) for betaing this chapter! Couldn't have done it without you!  
> And second off, another huge thanks to everyone who read, commented, bookmarked, and left kudos on this fic! This is the first long, multichapter fic I've ever written, and the great positive response has kept me going on it (even when I fail to update it for three months straight lol). I can hardly believe it's been over half a year since I started writing this; it's been a wild journey and honestly, the process of writing it changed me as a writer and a person.  
> Overall, thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoy!

Alphys stared at herself in the mirror, absentmindedly adjusting her dress.  _ You’ve got this, _ she thought.  _ You just walk down the aisle, say some words, and kiss her. You can do it. _

Alphys tried to not panic.

\-----

Undyne fidgeted in her suit, which suddenly felt much tighter around her neck than it had in Mettaton’s shop.

_ Just wait at the altar,  _ she thought.  _ She comes to you, you say some things, lean down and kiss her. It’s not like you’ve never done those things before. _

\-------

_ You’ve built robots out of trash, _ Alphys tried to persuade herself.  _ You learned how to do nuclear fusion when you were twelve. You can definitely walk twenty feet without tripping. _

She checked her makeup and failed to not panic.

\-------

_ You can bench 300 pounds with one arm, _ Undyne reassured herself.  _ You led the royal guard for fifteen years. You are totally capable of repeating a speech you’ve practiced at least forty times _ .

She tugged at her collar and nearly tore it off.

\-------

_ You can do this. _

_ \------- _

_ You can do this. _

_ \------- _

“Heyyyyy, girl!”   
“Heyyyyy, sister!”

Alphys nearly stabbed herself in the eye with her mascara brush as Catty and Bratty barged into her dressing room. “H-hey.”

“Oh my GOSH, you look great!”   
“Yeah, Alphys, oh my gosh!”

Catty and Bratty didn’t look too bad themselves; Mettaton had insisted on dressing practically everyone who would be at the wedding, and their bridesmaid outfits were Alphys’ dress in understatement - light pink, one-shoulder affairs with a yellow flower affixed at the shoulder.

“Here, let me get that!” Bratty took Alphys’ makeup and started carefully applying it. “You’re gonna knock them dead out there, Al!”

“Th-thanks, Bratty.”

“Oh! Oh! Hang on, lemme just…” Catty whipped out her phone and pulled Alphys and Bratty in close. “Say cheese!”

“W-wait-”

Before Alphys could protest, Catty snapped the picture. She and Bratty looked at it and squealed.

“Oooooooh, you look so GOOD, Al!”   
“Yeah, like, slaaaaay, girl!”

Alphys leaned over and peeked at the screen. She had been mid-blink when Catty had taken the photo, her makeup was only half-done, her eyeliner had smudged, and her mouth was halfway to a forced smile that hadn’t gotten there in time.

“Sooooo, how you feeling, Al?”   
“Yeah, like, ready for your big moment?”

Alphys sighed and faceplanted into the table.

 

Undyne fiddled with her bowtie, checking it in the reflection of the car window. After five minutes of futilely picking at it and trying to get it straight, she tore it off with a frustrated huff.

“Everything alright, Undyne?” Asgore gave her a concerned glance from the driver’s seat.

“I’m...I’m fine. It’s fine.” Undyne leaned on the armrest and stared out the window, broodingly.

“No, you’re not.”

Undyne gritted her teeth. “Yeah, y’know, actually, I am! I’m peachy! Everything’s GREAT, how would YOU know it’s not?”

“Well...normally, I think, you would have thrown the tie out the window.”

There wasn’t any argument Undyne could make against that, so she just grunted and continued staring out the window.

“So....” Asgore said, desperately trying to fend off the encroaching silence, “Your suit fit alright?”

Undyne didn’t respond. Asgore continued to flail at conversation topics. “Got your, uh, vows all memorized?”

Undyne groaned and headbutted the dashboard.

 

“Hey, c’mon, girl…”   
“Like, yeah, Al, let’s go…”

“Mnrg.” Alphys dug her claws into the doorframe as Catty and Bratty tried to drag her out of the room.

“Al!”   
“Alphys!”

“Mnrgggg!” Alphys finally lost her grip and was yanked out of the room. Catty and Bratty began marching her through the lodge, each of them keeping a tight hold on an arm.

They got her as far as the living room before she spoke up. “I-I can walk by myself.”

Catty and Bratty exchanged a look, and let her go. Alphys sighed, straightened her dress, and kept walking, Catty and Bratty ready to grab her in case she bolted.

They reached the wide doorway at the entrance of the lodge, and Alphys looked out. She had to admit, Mettaton had chosen a great spot for the wedding. The lodge was on a lake in the forest, with Mt. Ebott visible in the distance. From the doorway, she could see right up the aisle between the mass of chairs and guests; mainly monsters (pretty much everyone from the Underground had turned out for the event), but a few humans as well. 

Alphys backed away from the door and took a deep breath. “C-can, you, uh, just, uh, give me…” She swallowed. “I have to go to the bathroom,” she blurted out.

Catty and Bratty looked at each other again. Alphys sighed. “I’m not g-gonna run off. I j-just need t-to go.”

After finding the bathroom and quickly slamming the door shut before Catty and Bratty could follow her in, Alphys turned to the mirror and took a deep breath.

_ Well,  _ she thought,  _ this is it. _

 

“Well, this is it.”

Asgore neatly parallel-parked in the valet lane of the lodge. Undyne got out and stared up at the building. She had to admit, it was a nice place; a sprawling building of wood logs, resting at both the top of a hill and the edge of a lake. The lake itself spread out like a shimmering plain, the setting sun sparkling off it.

_ Maybe I could just jump in the lake and swim away _ , Undyne thought.  _ There’s probably enough fish and stuff to eat in there _ .

“Erm, Undyne?”

Asgore waved a hand tentatively in front of her face. “Ready to go? The ceremony should be starting soon.”

Undyne didn’t react. She seemed a little dazed.

“Undyne?” Asgore grabbed her shoulder and shook her gently. “Undyne…?”

She snapped out of it. “Uh? What?”

“It’s almost time for the wedding, Undyne.” Asgore offered her an arm. “Shall we?”

Undyne took it, and immediately Asgore could tell something was wrong. He could barely feel Undyne’s grip on his arm; it was like she was made of paper. When he started walking, she lagged a step behind, like she was being dragged by him. As Asgore opened the door to the lodge’s foyer and they stepped through, Undyne bumped the door frame and stumbled.

Asgore walked Undyne over to the couch and gently sat her down. “Alright, what’s wrong, dear?” He took out her bowtie, which he had retrieved from the car, looped it around Undyne’s neck, and began carefully tying it, despite his large hands.

“I think....I think I just need a second.”

Asgore nodded understandingly. “The ceremony can wait. After all, it can’t start until you’re there.” He finished with her bowtie and gently patted her on the shoulder. “Let me know when you’re ready.”

Asgore walked to the far end of the foyer and waited by the door. Undyne took a deep breath and stared at the floor, clenching and unclenching her hands in her lap.

_ Well, _ she thought,  _ Here we are. _

 

There was a knock on the door. Alphys reacted like it was a gunshot. 

“Hey, Al?”   
“Like, not to interrupt or anything, but…”

“You okay?”   
“You okay, girl?”

Alphys blinked. “U-uh...yes…?” she said unconvincingly.

“It’s, like, almost time, girl.”   
“Yeah, are you coming out?”

Catty and Bratty waited outside the bathroom door with bated breath. Just as they were about to break it down and pull Alphys out, the lock clicked open and she slowly came out.

Alphys took a deep breath. Before Catty or Bratty could say anything, she walked up to them and took each one by the hand. “O-okay, c-can you promise me s-something?”

Catty and Bratty were taken aback, but grasped Alphys’ hands firmly “Of course, Al.”   
“Yeah, anything!”

“C-can you promise me that… that this is going to w-work out?”

Before either Catty or Bratty could respond, Alphys plunged onward. “I-I’m just, so nervous that something’s gonna go wrong. L-like, I could trip going up the aisle and embarrass m-m-myself and Undyne and everyone or I could st-stutter when I’m s-saying my vows b-b-because I ALWAYS stutter, or maybe U-Undyne might decide she d-d-d-doesn’t want to m-m-marry me anymore or a meteor could come down and kill us all or SOMETHING could happen b-b-because bad things always happen wh-whenever things are going good for me and I...I just....”

Alphys sniffed as a few tears dropped into her lap. “I just want this one thing. And I don’t want it to go wrong.”

“Alphys…”   
“Al…”

Suddenly, Alphys felt the breath nearly squeezed out of her as Catty and Bratty wrapped her in a huge bear (or rather, cat and crocodile) hug.

“It’s going to be alright, girl.”   
“Don’t you worry about a thing, Al.”

“Mnnffff,” Alphys was able to mumble through Catty’s fur.

Catty and Bratty released Alphys and began leading her to the door. “Because, like, if there’s three things we know it’s that one; Mettaton will always be the COOLEST monster…”   
“Lol, got that right.”

“Two, me n’ Bratty will always be the QUEENS of garbage…”   
“Yeah girl! And Alphys, don’t worry, you’re at LEAST a princess of garbage.”

“And three…”   
“Yeah, most importantly…”

Catty and Bratty stopped. The trio had reached the lodge’s wide doorway. On the other side was the aisle and eventually, the altar. The two of them let go of Alphys and each took one of the door handles. Alphy glanced through the window, and with a shock, saw that Undyne was already standing at the altar.

“You and Undyne were always…”   
“...meant to end up together.”

With a grand flourish, Catty and Bratty pulled the door wide.

 

“Undyne?”

Undyne looked up. Asgore was standing before her, holding a hand out uncertainly. “It’d be rude to keep them waiting any longer, I think.”

“Oh…okay.” Undyne realized she was clenching her hands so hard her knuckles were going white, and deliberately released them. She took Asgore’s hand and pulled herself up.

“The, er, altar’s this way,” Asgore gestured vaguely.

“M’kay.” Undyne stuffed her hands in her pockets and followed.

“So... do you want to tell me what’s eating you yet?”

Undyne stared at the carpet, tracing the pattern with her eyes as she walked along. “It’s nothing.”

Asgore sighed. “No, it’s something. I can tell.”

“No, you can’t because it’s.... _ ergggg! _ Because it really is nothing!”

She stopped walking and took her hands out of her pockets, gesticulating wildly as she tried to find the words. “I’m so, so happy, okay! I’m really glad this day actually came and I get to walk down the aisle and say the words and make my girlfriend my wife, so why do I feel so uncertain? There’s no reason I shouldn’t be walking on sunshine and smiling and freaking skipping to the altar, so why can’t I just  _ be glad about it?!?  _ Just- _ ” _ Undyne threw up her hands. “Why am I so scared of something I love?!?”

“Hm.” Asgore nodded.

“Hm??? That’s it, just hmmmm?” Undyne knew she was being unreasonable, but she glared at Asgore all the same.

“Yes, just...hm.” Asgore caught Undyne’s glare. “Oh, I don’t mean to, uh, belittle you or anything, dear. Just thinking.”

“Mrg.” They kept walking. “About what?” Undyne asked.

“Well...just about what it was like when I was in your shoes.”

Undyne looked at him quizzically. Asgore laughed. “I have been married before, you know.”

“Oh. Yeah. I guess so.” Undyne hadn’t really ever thought of that; she’d only ever known Asgore as the big, goofy guy living alone in the capitol. She’d never thought about him as being a big, goofy guy living with someone else in the capitol.

“So, I can relate, you know. I ‘know that feel, bro’ as you kids say.” Asgore chuckled. Undyne groaned internally. “And I remember feeling exactly the same way as you do, Undyne.”

“So...how’d you get over it?” Undyne asked.

Asgore scratched his chin. “You know, I don’t think I did. I stammered my way through my vows, tripped walking back down the aisle, and I nearly dropped the ring.”

Undyne groaned externally. “Thanks. Big help. I’m doomed.”

“But you know something? Ah, wait, here we are.”

They had come to the living room. Out of the corner of his eye, Asgore spotted Catty and Bratty clustered near the bathroom door.

“Well, uh, here we go.” He offered Undyne an arm and tried to inconspicuously look over at Catty and Bratty. They waved him off in what looked like an attempt at looking reassuring. Fortunately, Undyne didn’t seem to notice as she looped her arm through his.

“Well?” Undyne asked.

“Hm? Oh, yes. Well…”

As Asgore opened the door, the guests took notice and stood. There was a low, hushed murmur of excited conversation among the guests. An organ playing a grand wedding march began playing as they walked down the aisle.

Asgore went on. “After it was all over, and I was lying next to her that night falling asleep with her, feeling like the luckiest monster in the world, I just wondered what on earth I was ever nervous about.”

They reached the altar and stopped, Asgore released Undyne’s arm and turning to face her. “So, I guess what I mean is, the only way to get rid of that feeling is to face it head-on.” He patted Undyne on the shoulder. “And I can assure you, Undyne, that later tonight you’ll feel silly for ever worrying, just like I did.”

Undyne stared at the ground, started to say something, stopped, and started again. “Asgore…” She faltered, then rushed forward and hugged him tightly.

“Thanks, dad.”

Asgore gently returned the hug, almost unsure what to say. “You’re welcome, Undyne.” He gently broke the hug. “Well, it’s time for me to take my place too. And…” After taking a step back from Undyne and centering himself on the altar, Asgore straightened up and pulled a small notebook out of his pocket.

“It looks like you’re about to get some company.”

Undyne looked down the aisle just as the lodge doors swung open wide, and Alphys stepped out.

 

Alphys felt the warm air on her face, held the bouquet tightly, and stepped over the threshold. The sun was just beginning to touch the horizon, and the trees sent long shadows arcing across the lake, ending just past the edge of the water. The sky was a soft, pale red.

The aisle stretched ahead of her like an interminable highway, one that looked like you would collapse before ever reaching the end-

Actually, it didn’t.

The now-standing crowd on either side of the aisle seemed to push in on her, suffocating Alphys without even touching her-

No, they didn’t.

It was weird. Alphys felt....perfectly fine. She didn’t feel like she was about to collapse from the attention or pressure; in fact, she didn’t feel any pressure at all.

_ Well, why should you?  _ said some quiet voice in the back of her head.

_ Yeah _ , she thought.  _ There’s no reason to be afraid. _

As she approached the altar and saw Undyne, though, a momentary wobble did slip into her step.  _ Oh my god she looks amazing _ .

 

_ Oh my god she’s so beautiful. _

Undyne watched as Alphys began walking up the aisle. Her dress seemed to shimmer in the setting sun like the water on the lake, and she wore a halo of flowers on her head - bright yellow daffodils.

Undyne barely noticed her dress or the flowers. Her eyes were fixated on Alphys’ face, the way her hands clasped the bouquet, the way her tail swished slowly back and forth and she walked.

Undyne couldn’t quite describe what she was feeling. It was like the world had dropped out from beneath her and disappeared, but instead of feeling vertigo from the height, she felt something more like a calm exhilaration. Her entire body felt light but energized, like she had just run a marathon but somehow without breaking a sweat. She was flying, and she was totally calm.

Alphys reached the altar and stepped up as the organ music came to a close.

 

Asgore cleared his throat. “Ahem…”

“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness these women join together in holy matrimony. Today, we see Undyne and Alphys become one - to share one life, one heart, one love.” Asgore leaned forward a bit. “And as a personal friend of both brides, let me tell you this was a  _ long _ time coming,” he said conspiratorially. The audience laughed.

“The brides have each written their own wedding speeches.” Asgore nodded to Undyne, and she turned to face Alphys, pulled a small piece of paper from her pocket, and after a moment’s hesitation, discarded it.

“Alphys. I’ve known you for years, but it feels like it was just yesterday that we were making small talk about garbage and making excuses to see each other. And even though it’s only been a few years that we’ve been together, I can’t imagine what life would be like if I wasn’t by your side, and I can’t wait to never leave it. You’re the most lovely, smart, funny, passionate, and wonderful woman I know and I’m lucky I get to share my life with yours.”

There was a round of applause and  _ awww _ s from the audience. Mettaton, who had a front-row seat, looked like he was somehow holding back tears.

Asgore smiled proudly. “Alphys?” he prompted.

Alphys took a deep breath and stood up as straight as she could. “Undyne. Words can’t express how much I owe to you. You’ve always had my back, always supported me, and you helped me to be confident with who I really am. To actually be standing here before you is something that a long time ago would have been beyond my wildest dreams, and I’m so happy that everything has led to this moment. I couldn’t be looking forward to the future more, and I’m so blessed to face it with the most motivated, sincere, beautiful, and incredible woman in my life.”

Another round of applause and sighs. Mettaton was on the edge of openly weeping.

Asgore smiled. “Now… do you, Undyne, take Alphys to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live?”

Undyne nodded vigorously. “I do.”

The exhilaration still hadn’t faded. Undyne hoped it never would.

Asgore turned to Alphys. “And do you, Alphys, take Undyne to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live?”

Alphys smiled. “I do.”

She felt completely at ease. Alphys realized Catty and Bratty were right; this was meant to happen.

In the audience, there was a small commotion as Frisk walked up the aisle, carrying a small pillow with a pair of golden wedding rings resting atop it. They reached the altar and proudly presented them to Alphys and Undyne.

Alphys took her ring first. It felt lighter than she thought it would, like it might just float away if she let go.

Undyne took hers. It felt smooth and a little cold, almost like a tiny egg.

Alphys held out her hand. For a split moment, it looked like someone else’s hand; not shaking, fingers pointed out with certainty.

“Undyne, as you place the ring on Alphys’ finger, please repeat after me; I give you this ring to wear-”

“I give you this ring to wear-”

“As a symbol of my eternal love-”

“As a symbol of my eternal love-”

“My unshakeable faith-”

“My unshakeable faith-”

“And my undying devotion.”

“And my undyning devotion.”

The ring slipped smoothly onto Alphys’ finger, instantly looking like it had been there forever.

“Alphys, as you place the ring on Undyne’s finger, please repeat after me; I give you this ring to wear-”

“I give you this ring to wear-”

“As a symbol of my eternal love-”

“As a symbol of my eternal love-”

“My unshakeable faith-”

“My unshakeable faith-”

“And my undying devotion.”

“And my undying devotion.”

Undyne’s ring slid easily down her finger and rested there, unlikely to ever truly leave.

“By the power vested in me,I now pronounce you wed.” Asgore snapped his book shut. “You may now kiss the bride.”

This was it.

This was the moment.

Truth be told, it was like any other time they had kissed. Alphys stood as straight as she could and looked upward as Undyne looked down and bent slightly. They held hands, moved together, and their lips met. 

When Undyne broke away after several seconds of her lips being locked to Alphys’, Alphys looked the same as she had all this time; beautiful, smiling and blushing a little, her hands feeling to fit perfectly in hers.  _ You were right, _ she thought.  _ What  _ was  _ I nervous about? _

Alphys dropped off her tiptoes and realized with relief that the world was still there.  _ I’m still here _ , she thought. She’s  _ still here _ . Undyne was grinning ear to ear, her smile looking like it could light up the whole world, and Alphys realized she was, too.

Neither of them even noticed that the crowd was going wild, their applause and cheers echoing across the lake.

As the music started up, they turned and began to walk back down the aisle, together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh yeah, and there's gonna be one more chapter.  
> Receptions, toasts, dances, and general wrap-up.
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> and maybe the wedding night ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


	5. One for my baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _It's quarter to three, there's no one in the place except you and me_   
>  _So, set 'em up, Joe, I got a little story I think you should know_   
>  _We're drinkin', my friend, to the end of a brief episode_   
>  _Make it one for my baby and one more for the road_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, remember when I said I'd do a wrap-up chapter *checks upload date* over a year ago?  
> Haha. Uh. Whoops.  
> Also yeah, I gave in and made the description song lyrics, sue me.

“...You’re really bad at this.”

Alphys snickered. “You’re one to talk!”

They were in the lodge, in the ballroom, on the dancefloor, with all eyes on them. Undyne and Alphys were half-stumbling through a slow waltz being played by the band. Alphys was tripping over every other step, and Undyne kept picking up the pace until she realized she was stepping at nearly twice the speed of the song. Both still had grins plastered across their faces.

Alphys took another one-two step, one-two step, and one-two stepped on the hem of her dress, tripping. Undyne caught her and nearly tripped herself. The watching crowd seemed to think Undyne had been trying to dip Alphys, and cheered. Alphys looked up at Undyne as she held her, hair falling about Undyne’s face, and couldn’t stop herself from laughing.

 

Sans held Alphys back as she desperately tried to wrestle the microphone away from him, and continued his speech. “So there we were, in Alphys’ lab, both drunk, and she turns to me and she says, ‘Sans, do you ever think about just how hot our boss is?’”

The crowd laughed, Alphys dropped back into her seat, covering her face as she blushed, and Undyne tried to avoid looking at Asgore, who was covering his mouth with one hand and chuckling heartily.

Sans let the laughter run its course, and continued. “So I say to her, ‘No, Al, I don’t think I’ve ever thought about the king in that sort of way. Why do you say that?’ And I’m not really sure what she said next, but the only word I caught before she passed out was ‘Big’.”

More laughter, more embarrassed blushing from Alphys, more of Undyne staring at her plate, and more of Asgore’s table-shaking laughter.

After the crowd calmed down again, Sans cleared his throat. “But seriously, folks, I’m absolutely honored to be here today, and I’m so incredibly proud of my friend, for finally, finally showing the courage I always knew she had, and I’m also glad she stopped my boss from ragging on me for sleeping on the job.” Sans sat down among one last wave of laughter and applause.

Alphys, still covering her face with one hand, punched him.

 

“Mgrblggfh!” Undyne said as Alphys suddenly stuffed her mouth with a piece of cake. “Alpfsh! I washn’t ready!”

Alphys giggled. “Sorry! Uh, how is it?”

Undyne choked down the cake and thought for a second. “It’s pretty good,” she said, an evil grin creeping over her face. “Why don’t you try it?” She grabbed a slice of her own and shoved it at Alphys’ face.

“Mfffh!” A lot of the cake splattered over Alphys’ snout as she tried to avoid inhaling the stuff. The crowd laughed, snapping pictures of Alphys and Undyne’s cake-covered faces.

 

“Ahem.”

Alphys was at the buffet, taking a second slice of cake and feeling a little guilty for it, and almost didn’t hear someone pointedly clearing their throat behind her.

“Um... _ahem_.”

She took her slice and turned to make her way back to her seat.

“Uh...Alphys.”

“Hm?” She turned. “Oh! Hi, Burgerpants!”

Burgerpants was stuffed into a shabby-looking tux that was simultaneously too big and too small on him, hands jammed in his pockets, fidgeting awkwardly. “Uh...congratulations,” he mumbled.

“Oh! Uh, thanks!” Alphys felt incredibly awkward, but couldn’t quite place why. “So, um...are you enjoying the reception?”

“Uh, yeah. Yeah.” Burgerpants stood there another moment.

“Good! Uh, well…” Alphys began to slowly gravitate back towards her seat.

“Please don’t tell anyone how I live my life,” Burgerpants blurted out. He turned and began making for the exit, leaving Alphys holding a slice of cake and a sense of confusion. Wondering what all that was even about, she began walking back to where Undyne was sitting.

“Heyyyyyy, Burgie!”  
“Where you going in such a rush, buddy?”

Alphys heard Catty and Bratty, and turned to catch a glimpse of them each taking one of Burgerpants’ arms and rush him off. She wondered what the heck all that was about.

 

Alphy took another step one two, step one two, and tried very, very hard not to look Asgore in the eye. The difference in their heights was already making it awkward to dance, with Alphys having to take huge steps just to keep up with Asgore’s tiny ones.

Sans’ little speech from earlier wasn’t helping, either.

“Congratulations, by the way,” Asgore said. He seemed entirely oblivious to Alphys’ discomfort, and was trying his best to take very, very small steps so Alphys could keep up. Holding onto each other was another matter entirely; Asgore’s huge hands were big enough to take hold of Alphys’ entire arms, and she had to spread her arms wide while he held his close to keep hold of him. “I didn’t get a chance to tell you before,” he said, chuckling.

“Th-thanks.” _Oh my god how much longer is this song going to be_ , Alphys thought.

“It’s really quite...hmmm, sentimental, I suppose. Former Royal Scientist marrying the former head of the Royal Guard,” Asgore said contentedly.

“Yeah…” Alphys took another few steps, starting to get into the rhythm. Asgore spun her carefully with one hand, her dress flaring out and flowing like waves on the ocean. Everyone watching cooed and applauded.

The song began to wind down. Asgore took Alphys’ hand, bowed, then dropped any formality and pulled her into a huge, fluffy hug. “Well, I really must say, I’m proud of you, Alphys. And not just for this; for everything.”

Alphys smiled. “Thanks.”

The song finished, Alphys bowed and gave Asgore a hug, and they began to go back to their seats.

“So…” Asgore chuckled, “‘Big,’ huh?”

 

“...and then, she kinda jumps off the chair, nearly trips pulling up her skirt, gets down on one knee…” Undyne said cheerily, oblivious to Sans literally holding Alphys back as she struggled for the mic, “And then she just, uh, kinda does nothing because she left the ring in her purse. So she’s just kneeling in the middle of the cafe, and she kinda mumbles to me to look in her purse!”

Undyne smiled sheepishly but happily. “So I do, and I see the little box with the ring in it, and, uh, yeah. I said yes. Obviously.” A round of _awws_ and applause echoed from the crowd, and Alphys dropped her face to the table, groaning.

Undyne sat back down, saw Alphys prostrate on the table, and nudged her chair over to her. “Aw, c’mon, Al.” She leaned over and kissed Alphys on the head. “Love you.”

Alphys grumbled and raised her head a little. “Love you too…”

 

“S-So, she, uh, had a little too much champagne at the New Year’s party…”

This time, It was Undyne’s turn to be held back, Asgore’s arms wrapped around her’s as she struggled for the microphone clutched in Alphy’s hands.

“And when the ball d-dropped, she tr-tried to kiss me and…” Alphys could barely talk as she suppressed laughter, “...and, uh, I think it was because T-Toriel had a yellow dress on, and…”

The audience _oooo-_ ed in knowing expectation. Toriel, to her credit, sat there totally composed, little more than a slightly strained smile on her face.

“And, uh, that’s the story of how my wife made out with h-her dad’s ex.” She started putting the mic down, then brought it back up. “And then I had to drive her home. And she wanted to, uh…” Alphys cleared her throat. “Uh, do it when we got home but she just sorta passed out on the bed and the next week I proposed to her.”

The audience applauded, Alphys sat, and Asgore finally let Undyne loose and she flopped forward on the table.

Alphys giggled, leaned over, and kissed her. “Love you.”

 

Finally, with the sun long down and the moon full and bright in the sky, Alphys squealed as Undyne carried her down the aisle of cheering guests to their waiting car with it’s clanging cans and “JUST MARRIED” sign on the back, door open and waiting for them. Undyne half-leapt through the car door, Alphys still in her arms, and collapsed across the backseat, both of them laughing and breathless.

“Hah… hah… wow!” Alphys gasped as she scooted off of Undyne. “Uh… wow!”

“Yeah, wow…” Undyne breathed. After the energy of the reception, the constant applause and congratulations and cheers, the car was incredibly quiet.

A divider separated the front and back seats, and as the two sat themselves up, a window slid down. Immediately filling the square window, Mettaton’s square frame popped into view. “Ahem, where to, ladies?”

Undyne looked at Alphys, who looked back and grinned. “H-Home, Jeeves.”

 

Thanks to Undyne being made up of mostly lean muscle, she wasn’t too heavy, but Alphys still struggled a little carrying her over the doorstep, turning to avoid bonking the tall, lanky girl’s head on the doorframe.

The apartment was still a bit of a mess; neither of them had had much time to clean what with all the wedding preparations. Thankfully, the bedroom was the one place that was mostly clean; bed made up, floor clear, an extra-soft set of blankets and sheets laid across it.

Alphys began tottering over to the bedroom, still carrying Undyne.

Undyne snickered. “You, uh, okay, Al?”

“I got this!” she grumbled, taking it inch by one-inch step.

Undyne watched her struggle towards the bed for a few more seconds, bemused, before she hopped out of Alphys’ arms and scooped her up in one smooth motion. Alphys let out a little squeak as Undyne’s strong arms wrapped around her, then relaxed, comfortable in Undyne’s familiar hold.

“Now, then…” Undyne said with a grin. “Maybe we can get to the bed before I fall asleep.”

Alphys giggled. Undyne took her time walking to the bedroom, though, looking at Alphys and grinning widely. Alphys looked back up at her, smiling, looking away in happy embarrassment every few seconds.

“Hey.” Undyne said.

“H-Hey.” Alphys replied. She fidgeted in Undyne’s arms a little bit, then leaned up and kissed her on the cheek.

Now it was Undyne’s turn to blush and stammer. “U-Uh. Wow. Uh. Geez.” She looked away as Alphys looked up at her, smiling. Undyne looked back down at her momentarily, taking her in flowing, beautiful dress, her wide, happy, radiant smile, and her eyes looking contentedly up at hers.

She looked away again, bashful. “You’re, uh. Really pretty. Really nice dress. Wow.”

Alphys snickered again. “You’re r-really pretty too. And, uh… so eloquent.”

Undyne managed a laugh. “Shut up!”

They’d reached the bedroom, and Undyne kicked the door shut behind her as they crossed the threshold. Heading straight for the bed, Undyne dropped Alphys onto the soft blankets and nearly fell on top of her, holding herself up with her arms, practically on top of Alphys, staring down at her.

Both of them abruptly stopped giggling.

Alphys looked up at her wife. “Uh. H-hey.”

Undyne looked beautiful. With her hair up in a tight ponytail like usual, it fell over one shoulder in a neat rope, the end brushing Alphys’ shoulder. Her suit complemented her lean, muscular frame well, hugging snugly to her torso and muscles. The look in her eye was… enticing. Welcoming.

Alphys suddenly felt nervous.

She had a vague idea of what usually happened next; it wasn’t anything they hadn’t already done multiple times before, but it felt… different, almost.

Undyne looked down at her wife. “Uh, yeah. Hey.”

Alphys looked stunning. She always did, but the dress, which flowed like water about her body and brought out her eyes and the color of her scales, made everything Undyne loved about Alphys look that much more beautiful and apparent.

Undyne felt nervous too.

It wasn’t a ‘first-time-again’ kind of nervous, just a… nervous feeling. After the rush of the wedding, the reception, the whirlwind of emotions she’d felt through the day before, this felt… different.

Both of them just lay there, frozen for a minute that felt like an eternity.

Finally, Alphys broke the silence. “Uh… Undyne?”

Undyne blinked. “Yeah?”

Alphys squirmed a little on the bed, but didn’t look away from Undyne. “Could, uh… we, uh…”

“Not do it, tonight?” Undyne blurted out.

Alphys blinked, a little stunned, then sighed in incredible relief. “Yes. Yeah. Can we just, uh, m-maybe, uh, c-cuddle, or something.”

“Yeah! Yeah. Yeah, sure.” Undyne said, equally relieved. She pushed herself off of Alphys, flopping to the bed beside her, leaving both of them staring at the ceiling. “It’s just kinda. Uh.”

“Crazy day?”

“Yeah. Crazy day. It’s been, uh, a lot.” Undyne was silent for a moment, then interjected again. “A _good_ lot. But just. A lot.”

“Y-yeah.”

For another quiet minute, neither spoke, leaving a comfortable silence through the bedroom. Slowly, Alphys reached down and took Undyne’s hand. Undyne squeezed back, comfortably intertwining their fingers.

“Wh-what a day, huh?” Alphys sighed, not unhappily.

“Yeah. What a day.” Undyne nodded, watching the ceiling fan spin above their heads, feeling herself sink into the soft blankets, feeling the gentle touch of Alphys’ fingers in hers. As she slid her fingers into Alphys’, she felt the cool, smooth touch of the ring resting on her finger.

Idly fingering the matching band on her own hand, Undyne turned her head to look at Alphys, who was looking up at the ceiling, eyes half-closed and a happy, blissful smile on her face.

Scooching in, Undyne kissed her on the cheek and cuddled up close to her. “Love you.”

Alphys rolled on her side, kissing her back. “Love you too.”

 

“A-Are you _sure_ you got everything?”

Straining to shut the trunk, Undyne gritted her teeth. “Alphys, half our earthly belongings are stuffed in the backseat. I think we’ve got it all.” With one last effort, she clicked the trunk shut and stood back. “Okay, uh, I’m pretty sure that’ll stay.”

She wiped her forehead; it was about noon, and they’d spent the whole morning packing for the honeymoon. Undyne wore a baseball cap, short shorts, and a crop top, trying to keep cool in the summer heat.

“A-Alright, let’s go!” Alphys called from the front seat, where she was meticulously poring over their route. “If we get going now we should miss most of the t-traffic! Come on!” She had on a simple sundress and a matching hat.

“I’m coming, I’m coming!” Undyne ran around to the passenger side, and without opening the door, grabbed the car’s frame and swung into the open window, landing hard enough to make the car bounce.

Alphys winced. “O-Okay…” She turned the keys in the ignition, and the car rumbled to life. “S-Seatbelts!”

Undyne rolled her eye and clicked her seatbelt on. “Yes, dear…” She looked over at Alphys in the driver’s seat.

Alphys was looking back at her and blushing. “D-D-D-D-Dear…?”

Undyne’s face spread to a slow grin. “Oh my god, Al. Did that…”

Alphys looked quickly back at the road, grabbing the wheel with one hand and pulling her hat down over her face with the other, trying not to look at the shining gold band on her finger, because she knew looking at it for too long would make her break into a stupid, wide-faced grin that she’d be unable to stop. “N-N-N-N-No. Nothing. It’s, uh…”

Even so, her a smile began creeping it’s way on Alphys’ face. “It’s nothing, honey.”

She looked over to the passenger seat, and now it was Undyne’s turn to blush. “S-something wrong, Undyne?”

Undyne sank down in her seat, arms folded to hide how she was fiddling with the ring on her finger, suppressing a happy smile. “Nothing. No, nothing.”

Alphys smiled. “Okay…” The engine idled, and Alphys did too. “Hey, Undyne?”

Undyne looked up just in time for Alphys to lean across the seat, quick as a flash, and give a quick peck on the lips. “I love you.”

Undyne sat there, happily stunned for a moment, before leaning right back at her and kissing Alphys back. “Love you too.”

Alphys squirmed happily in her seat. “N-Now!” She gripped the wheel firmly with both hands. “Akibahara, here we come!”

“And Mt. Fuji!”

“Y-Yeah!”

“And Atlantis!”

“Uh, Undyne, I-”

“And Arby’s! I didn’t have lunch!”

“O-Okay, we can do Arby’s.”

Alphys put her foot down, and the car rumbled off, the sun shining brightly down above them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyway, hoped you enjoyed the REAL ending of this fic! It's been my biggest, most popular project I've ever done, and the response, feedback, and everything has been fantastic! I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!  
> If you want to follow other fics I do, you can follow my twitter (@zaku_too) and tumblr (@zaku-too)!  
> Thanks, and thanks for sticking with me!


End file.
